Wednesday, January 25, 2006

I'm here

OK. Here I am, since ya'll have wondered when I would update this thing.

I've been having a real hard time since Peachy died. Not just dealing with the grief over his loss, but also with the feeling that nothing will ever be alright again. Pretty scary. (Especially for me, as ya'll know.)

I have managed to not burst out crying for a few hours at a time. And generally, I'm not crying for hours like I was just a couple of days ago. But everything still feels cold, silent, empty, and frightening. So, not so great at this end.

However, I go on because I have to. And I hope that my sense of security, which (despite my frequent anxieties over the trivialities of my life) never really left me when Peachy was alive, somehow will return if I just wait long enough. (Or I'll just die, which I am CERTAIN will eventually happen if I just wait long enough...ha ha.)

Sorry for such a depressing post, but that's what's happening at my end.
Love you guys.
A.

8 comments:

Skyelin said...

Wow, a new update...I'm impressed. :) Things will get easier as time passes, maybe Peaches will be reincarnated as a late 20 something perfect man who has rememberances of you from his past life....stranger things have happened I'm sure. :)

forestcrow said...

hmm...but then I'll be what? 46+? What'll he be? My KID? Ha Ha!

Myjic Believer said...

Oh my, this reminds me of a movie I saw a Wal-Mart called "Fluke". This new born puppy suddenly remembers that in his past life he was a human man, and he sets out to find his human family. Weird....(and not to mention a little scary...)

Skyelin said...

no...I meant immediately reincarnated as a full grown 20 something...that way he's ready for you now...

Myjic Believer said...

"Immediately reincarnated as a full grown 20 something" Is that possible??

Skyelin said...

sure, cause I say it is. :)

Skyelin said...

MORE!!!!!!

Skyelin said...

okay, you changed colors, but still haven't put a new post up?!?!?!?!