Wednesday, January 25, 2006

I'm here

OK. Here I am, since ya'll have wondered when I would update this thing.

I've been having a real hard time since Peachy died. Not just dealing with the grief over his loss, but also with the feeling that nothing will ever be alright again. Pretty scary. (Especially for me, as ya'll know.)

I have managed to not burst out crying for a few hours at a time. And generally, I'm not crying for hours like I was just a couple of days ago. But everything still feels cold, silent, empty, and frightening. So, not so great at this end.

However, I go on because I have to. And I hope that my sense of security, which (despite my frequent anxieties over the trivialities of my life) never really left me when Peachy was alive, somehow will return if I just wait long enough. (Or I'll just die, which I am CERTAIN will eventually happen if I just wait long enough...ha ha.)

Sorry for such a depressing post, but that's what's happening at my end.
Love you guys.